Jelili Episode 5 — The Love Interest
He stood in the Tesco snack aisle holding a pack of plantain chips like a man clutching prophecy. There she was again, the same lady from earlier. Soft smile and calm aura. Her eyes looked like she already knew where everything on the shelves was located.
She smiled first. That alone nearly shook his destiny.
He inhaled, adjusted his tie that had survived both public transport and panic. He walked toward her with controlled confidence. “Hi again,” she said.
Her voice was warm, clear, friendly, the type of voice that made you forget your problems briefly.
“Oh… hello,” Jelili replied with his new found British accent, sounding like a man trying not to swallow his own tongue.
She pointed to his tie. “You look formal today.”
“Interview,” he said proudly.
“How did it go?”
He glanced at the ceiling as though the answer was written on the Tesco tiles.
“It went… positively sideways.”
She laughed, full, honest laughter that made him feel like a stand-up comedian.
“I’m Zara,” she said, extending her hand.
“Jelly.”
They talked as they walked through the aisle. She asked him questions about his job search. He answered confidently, adding small spiritual editing where necessary.
He asked where she was from. “Hackney,” she said casually.
“Beautiful place,” he replied, even though he had never been there.
She laughed again.
Everything was going well. Too well. The abroad was finally responding to his vibration. He could feel it. His hope rose like fresh agege bread.
When they reached self-checkout, she glanced at him with a shy smile.
“Maybe I’ll see you again?”
His spirit floated. “Yes. Around is very possible.”
She left through the automatic doors like a scene from a soft romance film.
He stood there, dazed, smiling, ready to write lyrics if necessary.
Then someone tapped his shoulder.
He turned to see an elderly Nigerian man wearing a jacket, probably a delivery rider.
“Bros,” the man said quietly, “you dey follow that girl talk since?”
“Yes, now,” he said proudly. “Problem?”
The man sighed deeply. Too deeply.
“Bros, no vex o… but that girl na small girl, secondary school level. I dey see am for this area every time. She and her classmates dey always come buy snacks after school.”
Jelili blinked. The ceiling blinked with him. “Secondary what?”
“Yes. She is underage and nowhere near eighteen. Bros, avoid story o.”
A breeze entered his brain.
He replayed everything in flashback, the smile, the laughter, the hair adjustment and a loud ancestral alarm rang inside him:
“JELILI, YOU WILL DO JAIL O.”
His body temperature changed and his destiny corrected itself immediately.
“Thank you, my brother,” he said quickly, stepping away from the snack aisle as it had turned into a police station. “God bless you for this information.”
“No wahala,” the man replied. “Please, shine your eye for this abroad. Age no dey show.”
Jelili nodded vigorously. “I don shine am.”
He tried to regain composure, but embarrassment held him by the neck.
He grabbed two random snacks he didn’t need and walked toward the exit with the speed of repentance.
That was when his phone vibrated.
A message from Tunde.
“Guy, where you dey? Bank people called o.”
Jelili froze.
“Tunde, which bank people?”
“Them wan verify your address. I tell them say I go call you back.”
His soul left his body briefly. Address verification.
This country’s favourite method of humbling hopeful men.
Another message followed.
“They say they will call again in one hour. Better reach house before them.”
He clutched his chest. Romance had officially ended and reality had returned.
He turned around and dashed out of Tesco like a man trying to outrun both trouble and shame at the same time.
To be continued next Friday → Episode 6: The Bank Account Drama.
