The Audacity of Billing
Let’s talk about the social phenomenon that deserves its own Netflix series, billing. You know it, must have recently experienced it and you most probably have done it. You’re scrolling through your messages, enjoying your peace, when suddenly: “Hey big bro/sis, long time! How’s that place treating you?” That’s how it starts. A warm-up act for what’s coming next. A few pleasantries, some emojis and then, boom! The main event: “I no go lie, things tough small. Anything for your boy/girl?”
That, my friend, is the audacity of billing.
Whether you’re hustling to find your feet abroad, grinding at home or comfortably well-off, the pattern is the same. Out of nowhere, someone you haven’t heard from in years remembers you, not for a heartfelt reunion nor a genuine catch-up but for a financial favour.
Some are bold enough to go straight for the jugular, “Abeg boss, help your boy.” Others play the long game. They’ll chat with you for days, sprinkle in nostalgia, maybe drop a motivational quote, then hit you with “I’ve been meaning to ask you for a small favour…”
Bro, we’ve not spoken in years, you want to scream, but…
It’s not the act of asking that grates, we’ve all run into challenges at one time or another and must have called a go-through friend, colleague, family, etc., it’s the entitlement wrapped in faux friendship. The assumption that because you seem “okay,” your wallet must be available for community service.
Let’s be real. Life can hit hard. Jobs fall through, bills pile up, and emergencies come out of nowhere. It’s human to reach out for help and there’s absolutely no shame in that. We all have these “go-to” people, close friends, family or those who’ve come through for us before. That’s how support networks work.
The issue isn’t asking for help. It’s the manner and timing of it. Bursting in on someone you haven’t checked up on in months or years just to make a request doesn’t sit right. Relationships can’t lie dormant until money becomes the topic of conversation.
There’s beauty in generosity. Helping family, friends or even strangers in need is part of what keeps humanity humane. The issue is the lazy, transactional approach to connection. People want withdrawals from emotional accounts they’ve never made deposits into.
If someone hasn’t checked in, supported your efforts or even asked how you’re doing in years, their sudden “SOS” feels less like a cry for help and more like a pop quiz you never signed up for.
There’s a proper way to do these things. Real relationships matter. You can’t vanish for five years and resurface when rent is due. Consistent communication, genuine check-ins and simple goodwill go a long way.
Still, moderation is key. Nobody likes a constant “How are you?” that ends in “Can you help me out?” every time. Build relationships without an agenda. Check up because you care, not because you’re prepping for a cash advance.
Truthfully, everyone’s going through something. Even the people who look “made” are budgeting, planning or rebuilding. The fact that someone lives abroad or a major city doesn’t mean they’re swimming in foreign currency. Sometimes, they’re treading water and that “small thing” you think won’t hurt them might actually sting.
So, before firing off that “long time, boss” text, pause. Ask yourself: “When last did I genuinely connect with this person?” If the answer is “never,” maybe it’s time to rethink the approach.
Life will always test our generosity and our boundaries. Give when you can. Help when it feels right but let’s retire the emotional blackmail disguised as casual conversation. It’s 2025, we can do better than “Hey stranger, anything for your girl?”
Tired of surprise “long time” messages that end in financial requests? Let’s talk boundaries, generosity and how to keep your peace (and your pocket) intact. Share it with that one friend who needs to see this.
