My Head is Full : A reminder of the quiet battles.

One of the most humbling lessons life teaches us is this: people are often going through more than we can see.

Yet somehow, they still show up at work, attend events, laugh at jokes and even keep the vibe going.

From the outside, everything looks normal but beneath the surface, many people are silently carrying burdens that would surprise you.

So, when someone doesn’t reply to your email, a call goes unanswered or someone you greeted on the street walks past without responding…It may not be because they are rude, arrogant or unbothered; sometimes, their head is simply full.

This reality hit me personally some years ago.

At the time, I had sent my manager an email and waited patiently for a response. A few days passed. Then a week. Eventually, two full weeks went by with no reply. Naturally, I assumed something was wrong.

One day, I casually walked over to his deputy and asked why my email had not been responded to.

Her response immediately shifted my perspective.

She explained that my manager had taken time off work for almost three weeks due to a serious family emergency.

I had no idea.

As a night staff member, I hardly crossed paths with him except during occasional meetings or special situations. To me, it simply looked like an unanswered email but behind that silence was a difficult personal situation unfolding in his life.

In that moment, my irritation quietly turned into empathy.

Interestingly, this idea is beautifully captured in a lyric by the Nigerian artist Teni Makanaki in her track “Hustle”:

“So, if you see me outside and I no greet you, no vex baba, my head e full o…” It’s a simple line, but it carries a profound truth.

In Nigerian parlance, “my head is full” doesn’t mean arrogance.

It means life is happening heavily at that moment. Bills, family issues, work pressure, health worries or unanswered questions about the future.

All or some of these, sitting in one mind at the same time.

When that happens, even the simplest social interactions can become difficult.

The fascinating thing about adulthood is that many people have mastered the art of performance.

They smile in meetings while dealing with heartbreak and deliver presentations while worrying about a sick parent. Some even attend weddings while navigating financial stress.

They keep showing up but occasionally, the weight spills over in small ways:

An unanswered email, a delayed response, a missed greeting or a distracted conversation. This is not because they don’t care but their emotional bandwidth is already stretched thin.

This is why a little grace goes a long way.

Before assuming the worst about someone, it helps to remember: You rarely know the full story.

The colleague who seems distant might be dealing with a family crisis. The friend who hasn’t returned your calls might be battling something they haven’t found the words to explain.

The stranger who didn’t respond to your greeting might simply be overwhelmed.

Everyone is fighting visible battles and invisible ones.

Life becomes a little kinder when we remember this simple truth:

Not every silence is pride and not every delay is indifference.

Sometimes, someone’s head is just full and when we can, the best thing we can offer each other is patience, empathy and understanding.